@theshantilly: How long can one listen to a kid talk before it's officially considered a hostage situation?
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@Vodkantots: If I were really famous, I wouldn't even need body guards. These maxi pads promise me 10 hours of protection, each.
@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
@callie_cakes: Ex: Holy skinny jeans! Me: They are new. Like them? Ex: Sure... Me: What? Ex: Should a woman your age wear those? Divorce Reason 509