@doooiiiit: How long do I have to sleep before I'm legally a bear?
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@Robert_Beau: Mom asked me if I would pick up some things for her at the 'Dime Store', great, now I've got to go all the way to the 70s.
@maughammom: I'd say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we're not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, ice dispenser..
@gurl_sour: Forever Alone Barbie: Comes with 20 cats, and a Twitter account. Alcoholism and debilitating depression not included.
@Harbinger_one: This mouthbreathing, fat creepy dude at work baked a cake and wrote, "Eat cake if you want to be my girlfriend" on it. I'm so torn right now