@doooiiiit: How long do I have to sleep before I'm legally a bear?
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@ceejoyner: If you don't like your son, grab a football and tell him to go long. Never throw it. He's gone now.
@splegge: Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep "WTF you doing?" "for your headache." "I don't have one!" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys
@Sophie2078: I spilled coffee over my keyboard, so I spent all day asking letters from my employees. "Give me a "g" "Give me an "h" They hate me now.
@thepunningman: Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies If you liked it then you should have put a rig on it