@weinerdog4life: How long do I microwave these turtles before I can teach them karate?
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@andylassner: I said "no" to a lot of things this year without giving them a chance. In 2016 I plan on saying "maybe" more and then changing it to "no".
@pleatedjeans: worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost
@Brianhopecomedy: *presses wheelchair accessible button* *rolls 5 year old in on dolly restrained like Hannibal Lector* "We're here for a haircut."
@Book_Krazy: Me: Let's try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday