@yoyoha: How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything's going to be alright
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@kendragaylord: [Whole Foods] Woman: MY COCONUT WATER BROKE! *I drive her to the hospital and she names her first coconut after me*
@HiddleDeeDee: A student brought me 20 huge homemade chocolate chip cookies today. Good thing I have self-control--I saved one for my kids. To split.