@yoyoha: How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything's going to be alright
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@MdUNH: Cats are perfect for those who want to experience the indifference and hostility of the workplace in a pet.
@markedly: Many people that appear "cool" actually struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Not me. I have those feelings without appearing cool at all.
@seamussaid: dude told me he did a line with Emma Watson but I know he was lying - she's British, they call them "queues"
@murrman5: [consoling widow] I was the one who put the kick me sign on your husband. I had no idea you owned a horse that can read