@texasstalkermom: How many beer trucks can you "accidentally" run into before your insurance company becomes suspicious?
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@zachreinert03: Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw
@karencheee: Why do people say children are the future? They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.
@Dildo_Hitler: Bruce Willis in Starbucks. he gives his name as "not Bruce Willis" and when they call him he grabs his coffee and runs away giggling