@Abusitron: How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple
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@sixthformpoet: People who ask themselves what Jesus would do seem to forget just how badly things worked out for him.
@ThaJawn: My dog just ate the last piece of pizza but of course when we were ordering and I asked who wanted some, she didn't say shit
@SaraMansford: I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on.
@MarfSalvador: GF: *vomiting in sink* Ugh morning sickness Me: Wait. . . wh-what? GF: I'm pregnant Me: Woah, slow down. Why did you call me sickness?