@meganamram: How many days should i wait before i call my senator, i don't want to seem desperate
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@CantWaitToNap: Against the wall, on the floor and bent over the couch are my favorite places to stretch.
@SortaBad: Why are you breaking up with me? "You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands
@ixix82: Me: "Relax. Make conversation, let them get to know you." Also Me: "The longest tape worm ever found inside a human body was 82' in length."