@meganamram: How many days should i wait before i call my senator, i don't want to seem desperate
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@Nahdude83: *DJ scratches a sick mix* [crowd goes wild] *DJ scratches a puppy's ear* [crowd "awws"] *DJ scratches Lotto ticket* [crowd "oohs"] *wins $1*
@PuncherJetpack: Not saying obamacare is perfect but the data doesn't lie. With Obamacare there've been zero Hitlers. Before obamacare there was at least one
@Sassafrantz: Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt.
@Ikea_Monkey_89: When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that shit.