@ericsshadow: How many feet away from a tragedy do you need to be before its ok to snack?
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@lisaxy424: my dog when its nice out: *jumps in pond, rolls in dirt, eats goose poo* when raining: MADAM how DARE u take me into these AWFUL conditions
@jonnysun: "caramelized" is just a word chefs use if they burn things caramelized onion caramelized apple caramelized todd from HR who tried to diss me
@hannalee_slc: I just googled "jokes to tell right before you die" and if that doesn't tell you what kind of person I am, I don't know what does.