@ericsshadow: How many feet away from a tragedy do you need to be before its ok to snack?
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@CodyJP9412: Old people that say tattoos are a waste of money: You have entire cabinets dedicated to plates that no one is allowed to use.
@stephenjmolloy: Therapist: Why are you here? Me: Ahh, the great existential question. Why are any of us- Therapist: No, I mean your appointment is tomorrow.
@AngryRaccoon2: I bought a CD today. Now I'm waiting for my carriage to take me home, because I have laundry to do at the river and butter to churn.
@AbbyHasIssues: I would like to think money won’t change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil.