@ericsshadow: How many feet away from a tragedy do you need to be before its ok to snack?
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@ashmensch: *steps on Lego* *stumbles backwards and trips over more Legos* *throws all Legos away* *Grandparents buy more Legos for Christmas*
@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement
@junejuly12: Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows.