@SteveSuckington: How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
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@13spencer: Relationship advice: Find someone who likes (or dislikes) the same amount of air-conditioning as you, and stick with them.
@phaggots: [texting my girlfriend] wyd? "Just finished my homework" Cool, Send a pic (; ? *gf sends a nude* Ewww wtf!! i meant of your homework!
@Quartzjixler: Shipwreck survivors on an island S1: We told you to spell 'SOS' with those coconuts! S2: I know but I want our rescuers to know I'm a vegan.