@SteveSuckington: How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
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@fridaycandy: At a job interview: "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start?"
@ImSoFrancis: BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered what may be the worlds largest bed sheet. More on that as it unfolds.
@Sassafrantz: [lays down] Me: Feels so good to close my eyes. Brain: We should think about a fire evacuation plan.
@UNTRESOR: If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing.