@WolfpackAlan: How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan.
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@Token_Geezer: The fact that twitter is at it's busiest during working hours probably tells you all you need to know about the worlds economic problems
@KizerBillhelm: Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it's your neighbor's window and they're calling the cops?
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Our daughter lied to me. Me: What did I tell you about telling the truth? 5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.
@bridger_w: "Then it's agreed. We'll meet back in this same place in 10 years." -Me to some dishes in my sink