@mrtruthandsoul: How many minutes after someone's fired is it cool to take their stapler?
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@DadandBuried: My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you're not allowed to use them. Because nothing says CLASS like useless towels.
@Reverend_Scott: "Kids are picking on me, Mom" I'll teach you how to fight, son. "Yes!" [Mom spreads rumors about son and ignores him for 3 days]
@sixfootcandy: Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art.
@MooseAllain: Bird seed is amazing. I sprinkled some on the garden and when I checked 10 minutes later lots of new little birds had already sprung up.