@JasonLastname: How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?
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@FUN: Most laughs that you hear on TV shows today, were recorded in the 1950's. Means, technically, you're likely hearing dead people laughing.
@ShakesREMIX: My surname: 'Ever.' My given forename: 'Superior'. Similar to a torn talofibular ligament, I am not one to be trifled with.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Oh, we're going for a 30 second car ride? OK, let me gather all of my worldly possessions and get a little naked." - my 2 year old
@senorwinces: Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing.