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@OhhBradd: How many pushups can Ryan Gosling do?
All of them.
@egg_dog: don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather
@DeadLioness: What we all have in common is how extra stupid we look when we stop everything and focus on removing a stray hair from our tongue.
@iwearaonesie: wife *sees chair* [thinking] That would look great with the new rug in the living room
me *sees chair* [thinking] Chair
@onlxn: TRUMP: I'm gonna lose, huh?
TRUMP: Thank God.
RYAN: I know
TRUMP: I'd be SO bad at it
RYAN: We literally all might die
@RonanFarrow: "I'm a great listener." - The US government on a first date.