@theshamingofjay: How many times do I have to tell you this Mom? I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.
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@TheCatWhisprer: STUNTMAN ON TV: don't try this at home ME [sitting on couch eating out of a 5 lb. bag of m&ms]: ok
@thejessbess: I'm no scientist, but I don't think it's possible for EVERYBODY to be kung fu fighting.
@Rollinintheseat: St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. They gave him a great Uber rating.