@TheRolo: How many virgins do I get from dying of embarrassment? Does anyone know?
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@LuvPug: Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You'd think SOMEONE could've let me know I was out of toilet paper.
@Manda_like_wine: In my dream I see us all standing together, throwing away differences and rallying for the abolition of mayo escape-holes in loaf bread.
@Vice_Queen: [Me flirting with a twenty something] Him: When last did you get lit? Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.