@BonaFideIntent: How much cocaine is 2 much? Do u think security will view me ridding the elevator from the 1st to 2nd floor for the past 3hrs suspicious??
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@Matty_Softmitts: So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? "Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry."
@PMTheron1: There was a praying mantis in my room so I stealthily grabbed a shoe and smashed my 2nd-story window and jumped out.
@KeetPotato: [answers my phone] "hello?" hey it's me, can you talk? "since i was two" no, can you talk now? "do you hear words coming out my mouth?"