@BonaFideIntent: How much cocaine is 2 much? Do u think security will view me ridding the elevator from the 1st to 2nd floor for the past 3hrs suspicious??
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Playing_Dad: [At vet] Me: My dog has been throwing up what looks like egg shells. Vet: What have you been feeding him? Me: Egg shells.
@jdforshort: Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well.
@dave_cactus: MUGGER: *pulls out a knife* ME: *pulls out a jar of marmalade and two biscuits* MUGGER: Lovely.