@omgthatspunny: How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram!
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@SwartyComedy: They'll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that's been open for more than 2 years.
@Jack_Wagon1: Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing.
@xLiserx: The Wizard of Oz: A teenage runaway gets caught in a storm, commits manslaughter, & crosses state lines to see a man more than 3x her age.
@AllyBallyBeal: Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you'd better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise