@omgthatspunny: How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram!
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@DaddyJew: What the hell do you mean Buzzfeed isn't a reliable news source, it knew exactly what kind of pancake I'd be
@JohnLyonTweets: Inmate: Did you bring a cake with a file in it? Me: *holding file folder containing cake photos* I may have misunderstood.
@primawesome: I haven't had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I'm basically a duck at this point.