@omgthatspunny: How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram!
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@ThisOneSayz: 6: I'm done. Me: you didn't even touch your food! 6 pokes food w/finger *without breaking eye contact* The Sass is strong with this one
@robin_991: 6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter.
@WheelTod: Probably the worst part about being a snail is how you can't put salt on your French fries.
@davidkenny100: Me: how much is all the money in the world? Genie: not sure exactly Me: give me a ballpark figure POOOF *I'm now the size of Shea Stadium