@omgthatspunny: How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram!
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@MeatyPunk: "FOR [sound of robot-computer meltdown/Buckethead noise] PRESS 1 FOR [feint but audible screams of someone being chased in woods] PRESS 2"
@imabbylouise: I have nothing in common with people that say, "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."
@Rollmaninoz: Boss: ok just bear with me *I growl and start clawing the air* B: wtf are you doing Me: I..You said.. B:first ‘snail mail’ now this..Just go