@Tmoney68: How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet?
"Sir, this is a liquor store."
@Contwixt: I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
@david8hughes: [sees kid crying at the mall]
R u lost?
[kid nods, wiping tears]
Well [blows cigarette smoke in kids face] looks like u live at the mall now
@MikeCanRant: if you hold a turtle shell up to your ear you can hear a turtle biting on your ear you dumb idiot
@Cheeseboy22: My sensitive toothpaste can't stop crying.
@cynicanoldicus: The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood.