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@Book_Krazy: How much for the mirror?
Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue
@GrantTanaka: 1: ‘Twas the night before xmas, & all thru the house
Dad was trashed on Grey Goose, mom spilled merlot on her blouse
@mattZillaaaa: I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined
@Burger_Time_: [as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first
@hipchkk: I keep an extra stash of tampons in my purse to launch at blowhards who punctuate the end of their sentence with the word, "Period!"
@PaperWash: Can you imagine getting the girl of dream's phone number and her first text to you she spells it "defantely"