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@DaddyJew: How much for the soul sucker?
Sir, that's a baby
@GroperCleveland: MTV has ordered a reality show to follow a group of virgins. That sounds very interesting and riveting and get that camera out of my face.
@caseytduncan: When I find someone else's grocery list in a shopping cart I use it....see where it takes me.
@tastefactory: I don't get Roomba commercials. Like who spills an entire box of cereal on the floor and is like eh leave it for the robot to clean up
@davidkenny100: American: I was just at a shotgun wedding
Me: How far pregnant was the bride?
American: You English are insane Shotguns can't get pregnant
@Annoyedworld: I broke my arm when I was a kid, my Dad carried me ten miles to the hospital, he has cancer, so that's why my tattoo is hot nurse.