@TequilaTears: How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
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@howe007: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "hey, that one over there is shaped like an alcoholic".
@envydatropic: Whenever someone calls me, instead of texting, I just assume they've had a horrific accident and have lost the use of their fingers & thumbs
@juliussharpe: Parachuting is probably the best way to put your life in the hands of a backpack.