@TequilaTears: How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
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@patnspankme: If stranded in a lifeboat in the middle of the sea, rub 2 FB accounts together to generate enough thoughts & prayers to lift you to safety.
@Better_Clever: Women who always hustle to clean the house before the maid service arrives.. What the hell is wrong with you?!
@: The doctor says I'm depressed because I don't have enough iron in my diet so I've started nibbling on the gun in my mouth.