@TequilaTears: How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
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@DrDogMD: PATIENT: How tough was medical school for a dog like you? DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy
@regular_rebelme: If you ask me to hold your drink, I will. But I will also drink it. So..you know.
@notacroc: [universe where we use wormholes to deliver food] *a potato flies thru the wormhole and hits my son Blent in the face* Me: stay sharp Blent