@LackOfShame: How much longer until we can get pets that are also wifi hotspots?
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@boring_as_heck: [dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers Her: Wow, impressive Him: Then I'll move on to Virgos
@freypalm: Me: Ew, what sort of shop is this? It just sells dead birds? My cat: Pick out whatever you want, birthday boy. It's on me.
@rzarosco: I dont use one of those unfollower sites like a psycho. I use my handwritten list of followers and crosscheck it daily like a NORMAL PERSON!