@JustHadOneJob: How not to sell a phone - Level 100
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@petemandik: [touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma.
@cbdoubleu: Sorry I burnt your degree from the University of Phoenix thinking that a better degree would rise from its ashes.
@thatUPSdude: I love when you're choking someone and they are all "I can't breathe", duh I'm choking you.