@Tharin_P: How often do I think about Keira? Knightley.
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@myonlymizztake: My date didn't go as planned and now I don't know what to do with this kiddie pool full of nacho cheese.
@EamonToPlease: My phone just sent me an unsolicited hockey score. Aren't there Japanese horror films that start this way?
@LifeStricken: How do I explain to this 5yo why it is of paramount importance to use the word kitty instead of pussy in his Mother's day card?