@panmidwest: How selfish am I? Circus peanuts and black licorice are my favorite candies just so I never have to share.
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@chrizmillr: Weird how Superman's an alien but looks exactly like a white dude & then he landed in Kansas & not say, mainland China
@BridgetPhetasy: In Hell, all of your Google searches post directly to your social media accounts.
@NervousJr: When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams.
@matt___nelson: *pretends to get an urgent text so I can turn around after I notice I'm walking in the wrong direction*