@iTomFoolery: How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest.
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@hbreaker9999: My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
@HatfieldAnne: Life Lessons from the Petting Zoo: -Everything bites -So much pushing -Did you bring quarters? -OMG, goats have the weirdest pupils
@BuckyIsotope: [deathbed] Son….come closer “Yes dad?” We need a new man of the house “I’d-” *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister
@TEN_GOP: Tiger Woods: Nobody could screw up their career the way I did last weekend. Kathy Griffin: Hold my beer. Bill Maher: Mind if I join you?