@iTomFoolery: How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest.
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@adam_bloomquist: Saw a billboard that said: Don't be distracted by driving and texting. Next one said: Don't be distracted by driving and reading billboards.
@AliciaATobin: There should be a YouTube compilation of the expressions on women's faces when they discover a dress they are trying on also has pockets.
@MrSpoonicorn: hey boy ;) is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see m- oh, it is a gu- yes i will open the cash register
@garthinkingcap: [after solid first date] Ok play it cool, don't wanna seem too eager.. *texts her 47 years later* "Had a great time the other night :)"