@Kim_pulsive: How Stella Got Her Goat Back #ReplaceAMovieTitleWithGoat
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@Sanbel11: If he's a nice guy and treats you well, does it really matter what colour his Maserati is?
@Gre_Gone: [Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*
@squirrel74wkgn: [at work] Carl, did you get naked when you used the bathroom? *standing there with his shirt & pants on backwards* "No...why do you ask?"