@TheGoogleFactz: How to float ? See here
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@JaySuch: When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal.
@joeljeffrey: My wife and did it twice yesterday and we didn't use any protection... I'm worried we might have twins.
@ElgatoEsmio: [DUI checkpoint] Cop: I'm gonna need you to follow my finger Me: As long as it doesn't tweet inspirational stuff