@TheGoogleFactz: How to float ? See here
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@noog: Me: Goodnight Moon Moon: Well hi there. I can’t hear you because I’m 240,000 miles away and sound doesn’t travel in space. Die in a fire.
@david8hughes: [son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
@Marlebean: When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say "oh, I thought she was already dead"
@CA_Country: My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you'll need a shovel and map to find him.