@CornOnTheGoblin: Welcome to Premature Ejaculation Club A lot of you came early, I'm not surprised

@Heart_choo: It takes a car 30 years to become vintage. It takes a phone 30 days.

@RexHuppke: I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American.

@eliserose5: I need some sugar. Not the stupid kind that gives you mono, but the good kind that gives you diabetes.

@peterjames48: You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!