@TheGoogleFactz: How to keep calm in traffic jams
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@DiscoFruit: [first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?
@Xalqee: When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
@ayyyyloser: "There's plenty of fish in the sea" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone.
@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.