@MariyaAlexander: How to make her squirt: make sure she is a lime
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@rachelle_mandik: the person who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a software update did not take their job seriously at all
@novicefather: [interview] "Describe yourself in 5 words." me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant.
@mjkspeaks: [arguing w girlfriend] Her: I feel like we have communication problems. Me: srsly? wow I text u like every day.