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@XplodingUnicorn: How to parallel park:
1) Park somewhere else.
@TheBoydP: All I'm saying is if you don't want me to walk into the women's restroom put words not pictures on the doors...
@daemonic3: U-HAUL, may I help you?
"You have any moving boxes?"
No all our boxes stay still
"Well you better go- wait what?"
Stop calling here, Dad
@BrandandCo: I feel like Neil deGrasse Tyson would be the most annoying person in the world to watch Space Jam with
@josePhDhoran: *lights a joint*
Woah, fire! Ow! My elbow!
@STitusR: Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat.