@jwoodham: HOW TO ROB A BANK: (1) Walk in and start talking about your study abroad experience. (2) Everyone's asleep now. Grab the money.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents? Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano?
@causticbob: I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble
@EndhooS: [morgue] mum: [crying over my bullet ridden body] how did this happen cop: the robber yelled "everyone be cool" so he tried to do a kickflip