@askceil: How to Talk To A Woman Who Is Hiding Behind That Plant. Now She's In The Alley. Wow, She's A Fast Runner. How To Talk To The Police.
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@upsidedowntrash: WIFE: It's either me or th- ME: He has name WIFE: OR the goose. ME: Say it. WIFE:… ME: Say his name. WIFE:… ME: Why won't you love Tom Honks
@mattgallo123: My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower.
@lawking30: Making NSA work hard today: just left vm for Senator saying, "drop-off done" & then made a hair appointment at a salon in Lahore, Pakistan.