@AndyRichter: How to Talk to Women Who Are Inside an MRI Tube
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@huntigula: Dammit, stop summoning me to fight global warming! I'll believe it when the remaining 3% of scientists believe it! -Republican Capt. Planet
@causticbob: When your prospective father-in-law asks:"Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?" Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"
@Shut_up_Marissa: Me: I'm so tired. Phone: Put me down and go to sleep. Me and Phone: HAHAHAHAHA!
@SteveSuckington: I accidentally caught my nuts in a barbed wire fence and now I'm the frontman of a Maroon 5 cover band.