@batkaren: How was I supposed to know unleashing 342 cats in a club would turn to bone-chilling horror the instant the disco balls started up?
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@canadasandra: in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone
@TheTumblrPosts: Me: I'm a confident driver Friend: You almost just ran someone over Me: Confidently tho
@iGreenMonk: Sometimes I try to eat healthy but my stomach's like "what if you die tomorrow?" and I'm like "good point" and I have a whole pizza.