@ShrugLord: How will the whales ever evolve if we keep pushing them back in the water?
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@WheelTod: A great summer prank is to park your car just outside the mall with a fully cooked ham in baby clothes strapped into a child seat.
@djdarrellripley: Me: I need to know what your office drug policy is. Him: No drugs. Me: Got it... Do you consider the parking lot to be part of the office?
@Jazzzzzmina: Me: I'm so over him Vodka: No you're not, you should text him Me: Really? Vodka: Yes! 25 times