@jwoodham: "How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?" Doesn't follow instructions very well.
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@AndyAsAdjective: [my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my résumé to get] ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*
@WheelTod: Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is one easy way to tell if you were bitten by a mosquito or a shark
@novicefather: I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years.