@Kyle_Lippert: "How'd you die?" "I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You?" "I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen" "Oh.."
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@sarousti: Hot tip: Apparently it's frowned upon to make the sound effect tssst when being blessed by a priest
@WheelTod: Early in any job interview be sure to use the phrase "I always give 110%", so you can quickly gauge their tolerance for working with idiots.
@Book_Krazy: A fun way to make someone self conscious, is to put a nose hair trimmer in their grocery cart while maintaing full eye contact with them.