@KizerBillhelm: HR says I'm not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
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@AdamBroud: Wife: Whatchya thinking about? Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff.
@foodfacenow: Interview Boss: What could you bring to this company? Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.
@BuckyIsotope: RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust