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@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first
@dave_cactus: ME: Your doll is creeping me out! Is it haunted?
NEW MOM: That's my baby, you idiot.
@idkrethink: Friend: wyd ?
Friend: and wyd after ?
Me : sleeping for work tomorrow
@KentWGraham: Got my daughter a one-dollar gift card to the Dollar Store and told her to get whatever she wants.
@Hobo_Splendido: The nephew I'm babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat.