@lloydrang: I just ran 4.1 Kms and realized you can write anything you want after that and no one will read it purple monkey dishwasher.

@batkaren: The home invasion ruined us. We never stood a chance against the houses.

@ComedicBust: [History Channel] Veteran: [terrified] And then he died. Reporter: But what was it like only having to memorize 1 password for everything?

@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not sure if this clerk is smiling at me bc he knows I'm high or bc we're both high, but it's been 6 minutes and we're still just smiling

@donni: Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best