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@SoulYodeler: Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin'? I come to watc--
Lamppost: Nice scarf princess.
her: [seductively] whisper something sexy in my ear
me: [leans in] pizza
@thatUPSdude: Me: Want some of my nachos?
Coworker: I don't like nachos.
Me: Hello 911, what's consider premeditated murder?
@Fred_Delicious: [everyone in the STI clinic glaring at my Pokemon shirt]
"No no it means like, I want to catch all the Pokemon"
@Elifcello: "Don't worry, I'll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends." - Cargo Pants