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@LeBearGirdle: Lawyer: so tell me, why was my client's mouth bleeding? Dentist: he doesn't floss Me: You hit me! D: [puts lips on mic] bc you don't floss
@jwoodham: The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
@AtticusFinch79: <gets on elevator > Pushes all the buttons Hugs everyone Prays out loud that we're not going to die Gets off at the 2nd floor Laughs