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@MissBamantha: Overheard a girl just say she's full because she ate at 3:00. It's 6:00. How can you stay full for THREE HOURS, alien?
@LindaInDisguise: Siri, make me pancakes. You have a Blackberry, Linda. Go home, Linda, you're drunk.
@_troyjohnson: Children grow an average of 2.5 inches a year. All of that growth happens in the 24 hours after you buy them new clothes.