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@robfee: Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
@Milariou: It's all fun and games until you notice the "rocket" in your son's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand.
@TheTimmyToes: [on the way to the hospital] GF: "let me get this straight. You thoug-" Me: I thought that the mouse trap would detect that I am not a mouse
@CaptainJerkwad: Hate being a funeral director "why'd u take the job?" I inherited it from my dad "You could've just declined it" And lose my first customer?