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@aaroncoal: I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.
@hoverbird: Everybody thinks "The Social Network" is the best movie about forming a new startup, but they are wrong. The best movie is "Ghostbusters".
@markleggett: Today I saw a homeless man pick up a brochure for a computer repairer. I guess he's having computer problems?
@NikiWithIssues: I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"