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@erica_rosie: Just received a thank-you card from someone I sent a thank-you card to. Oh, it's on.
@Tuna_Lover: I caught two teens smoking pot behind my office. Ten minutes later, my boss caught two teens and myself smoking pot behind my office.
@ruinedpicnic: Humans pretend to be smart but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we're suddenly gonna have x-ray vision
@KevinHart4real: Nothing worse than taking a run and then having to take a shit when your a mile & a half away from ur bathroom. I almost shitted in a bush