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@michaelianblack: Fun fact: The hip word "chillax" is a combination of the slang term "chill" and the more traditional word "laxative."
@freypalm: Cowboy: Wake up Lou—somethin's spookin' the horses. [outside] Horse: [shining flashlight in face] But this "Apple Store"… HAD NO APPLES.
@samalmightysam: Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window.
@DustinAHarkins: One time I called my teacher "mom" and she looked so confused and said "I'm not your mom." It made the rest of homeschooling really awkward.