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@osigat: ? Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be... ? Wait, hang on...my bad, those are vultures.
@ericsshadow: ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.
@notalogin: *I look into abyss* *Abyss looks at me* *Abyss blinking message in Morse code* *I go off to learn Morse* *I return* "Why do we park in a dri
@HenpeckedHal: To the people who tell expectant parents to "stock up on sleep while you can," please know that's not how sleep works.