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@SteveKoehler22: My fortune cookie message read : "You appeal to a small, select group of confused people" .... Uh huh ....
@squirrel74wkgn: No thank you, shower sex. I'll just step out of the shower and injure myself the old fashioned way.
@scottthetwat: I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds.
@moooooog35: Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas. Neighbor: Nice. I got- Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything.