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@tastefactory: There's a spider that's been in the same place on my living room wall for an hour so he's essentially also watching Shrek.
@NotthatAdamWest: If you hold the door open for me when I'm more than ten feet away, you aren't doing me a favor. You're making me exercise.
@jjhartinger: To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.